Thursday, December 29, 2011

Bed Time

So.. I'm going to bed in a bit. But I felt unfulfilled without blogging something. I promise to have a lot new, cooler blogs up soon. Maybe even tomorrow. But, for tonight, I'm just going to share some pictures. If my internet will work.

For those of you who read my blog and notice things posted that never happen: I am of the mindset never to delete anything.. Every post is really just a word vomitorium. I post what I think at the moment. Much of the "comedy" that comes into play is directly tied in with a sentence. So, if I delete said sentence, I have to delete most of the blog. Sorry if it gets on anyone's nerves.
And, I really try to function on the Wiccan law. "If it harm none, do as you will." So, I shall do as I will until my rambling harms someone. If my ramblings hurt you, let me know. I will try to fix it. But, if rambling hurts any of you, I suggest you stay off the Internet. 'cause it's FULL of rambling.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Harry Potter. ***SPOILERS***

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I'm not going to drag this out for a month. I'm just going to do them all right here, right now!
  1. Sorcerer's Stone or Goblet of Fire. I can't decide.
  2. Prisoner of Azkaban
  3. TONKS!!! I love her hair.
  4. BELLATRIX!! She kicks ass!
  5. When Tonks and Lupin die =( poor Teddy
  6. Mad-Eye Moody or McGonagall. It depends on what book it is.
  7. Slughorn. Ich.
  8. Probably Potions or something nerdy like that.
  9. Muggle Studies. Sounds crazy-boring.
  10. Apothecary or something along those lines
  11. Broom shop. I'm not a sports-girl.
  12. Hmm.. I think Draco's awesome.
  13. Tonks, by far.
  14. The black-and-white train cover for P.S.
  15. The swimmy-to-save-your-favorite challenge
  16. Hufflepuff. Simply for the line-- "What the hell's a Hufflepuff???"
  17. Sirius!! Most definitely!
  18. Oooh Crucio.
  19. Nagini. I looooove snakes.
  20. All of George's ear jokes.
  21. When Molly fights Bellatrix. I mourn for Bellatrix (I did like her) and cheer for Molly to the point where I almost cry.
  22. Probably a Beater or something laid-back. Coach.
  23. Definitely Snape's. My favorite by far. So sweet.
  24. Unicorn. Totally a unicorn. Maybe a dinosaur..
  25. Petunia. I kind of feel bad for her. Like... I don't know. I just feel bad for her. Like, she was unfulfilled. I hope she got her happy ending.
  26. Umbridge! Hers had a teensy pink gem in the middle. So cute. So girly.
  27. To Apparate. I totally wish I could Apparate. That'd be so pimp.
  28. Didn't I already answer this? Bellatrix. I love her to pieces. She's so crazy badass.
  29. Apparently, there's one of Gandalf hidden somewhere. I think that one has to be my favorite.
  30. The Apparition spell. Duh.

favorite colors

Up until now, I've always LOVED dark colors. Jewel tones with the occasional ivory or antique-y white thrown in. But, now, everything is different. I absolutely love, love, LOVE the color combination of lilac/lavender and mint. It's so pretty and utterly designer! I think it's going to be big in fashion next season. Well, I hope so. Because it's my favorite combination. 
I wish I could dye my hair lilac and/or mint. But, lucky me, I have Mediterranean, olive-toned skin that does not like to play nice with pastels.

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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Bellydance

So.. I was on CafePress looking for bumper stickers to put on my NEW LAPTOP!!!! And I thought I'd share some with you. But first, let me cover one thing:
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 This one reminds me of my ChaCha

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 This one also reminds me of ChaCha. It's very pretty and very tribal. But Layali Layla dancers aren't tribal. Oh well =)
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 Belly dancers shall get this<333 The rest of you, you're on your own. (Yes, I am exclusive and snobbish about bellydance at times. And ridiculously protective of it.)
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 These last two are my favorite. One is totally confidence-inspiring. Look! She's beautiful and a realistic weight. The last one will show you why I find hips and bellies prettier than mammary-spillage.
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Friday, December 23, 2011

Look Great

So.. There are just some things that I would like to say. Facebook friends, you've heard some of these before. The rest of you: here's something new. Look at the pictures below for help or examples.

  1. Maybe it's the belly dancer in me. Maybe it's just me. But I find and exposed midriff and covered everything else a lot sexier than when girls have their boobs falling out of their shirt and their butts barely covered. To me, hips and a toned (read, healthy. Not freakishly thin. But, quite frankly, a little bit of meat on her bones is sexy, not gross.) stomach are WAY more attractive
  2. I find it tacky to curl your hair and not shake it out. We know you curled your hair. ESPECIALLY since you didn't bother to move it out of its curling-iron chunks. Six curls on your head = not cute. Multiple, windblown, shaken out curls that might not be perfect = AMAZING!!
  3. Light brown swimsuits aren't cute. They don't look like swimsuits. They look like you're naked. Don't swim naked in a public recreational spot. It's not cute. Get bright colors and fun patterns!!
  4. Barely-there swimsuits aren't sexy. Honey, I don't care if you do have a friggin' Kim Kardashian butt, I don't want to see all of it. Thongs aren't cute. Nor are those teen-niny string tops with stickers just large enough to cover what's necessary. Quite frankly, boy shorts/brief bottoms and halter tops are way cuter. Or those cut-out one pieces. But, cover yourself, please. Fall Out Boy should not apply here. You shouldn't be saving a little bit of spine for his mattress. Save a lot bit. Feel sexy. Don't go out naked.
  5. Photoshopping your flaws out in photos doesn't fool anyone. Don't soften, blur, and airbrush your photos to death. You have pores, you have freckles, you have blackheads. Love your skin. Wash it, drink lots of water, take care of it. It will look prettier if you do. Don't just kill your face.
  6. When buying foundation/concealer, make sure it matches your skin tone! If you get really tan in the summer and really pale in the winter, buy two shades. So. Many. Girls in my high school walk around with poorly matched foundation. They look so chalky and terrible and you can tell where their makeup ends. The two sides of their jaws are two TOTALLY different colors! 
  7. Bronzer. Yes, it can be your friend. No, it is not your foundation. Don't treat it as such. It should go on your forehead, nose, chin, and cheeks. The APPLES of your cheeks. Not your whole face. Darling, you are not naturally that tan. Use it to your advantage. You aren't Snooki. You can't run around with bright orange skin. I will not allow it.
Ladies, thank you for your time. I hope these tips help you. Share them with your friends. Use them yourself. You aren't the only one that looks ridiculous. And they aren't the only ones that look goofy. Help each other and, together, we can make a beautiful world. Now for pictures.

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Yes, I am aware that she is having her hair curled. That's okay. Just as long as she doesn't leave like that.

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So, that swimsuit (the tan one) isn't that bad. However, I was using Google. Which is scary to begin with. And I don't want porn on my blog. You want that? Go somewhere else. I'd be willing to bet that littler ones and family people read this.

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Look! I have pores! I have freckles! I have a zit! I have discolored places! I think Taylor Swift is gorgeous but CoverGirl went overboard. I do believe this ad was banned in places due to airbrushing gone wild.

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So, the Ellen picture isn't because of her flawless foundation. It's actually a screenshot from her CoverGirl ad for foundation and how crappy it is when it doesn't cover correctly.

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Don't go out of the house looking like Snooki. Just.. don't. If you think she would do it, steer clear.


I hope you found this helpful. Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Public Safety

Dear Readers (friends, family, or strange Russians, whichever you are),

I wish to keep you safe this holiday so I feel that it is my public duty to the public to warn you of a huge holiday danger. Now, according to the Syracuse Poison Control Center, the eleven biggest holiday dangers are:
  1. Button batteries. 3,500 button battery ingestions are reported each year. Mostly in children. (How an adult would ingest a button battery is beyond me but... I'm sure it has happened. I'm sure I am probably related to one of them.)
  2. Medications. (Those are normally year-round things.. But, since winter is cold-and-flu season, okay.)
  3. Alcoholic beverages.
  4. Lamp oils (didn't know we still used them..) and incense and/or reed diffusers.
  5. Bubble lights (oh so pretty..) or vintage ornaments. (Years past weren't nearly as safe as now. For Christmas, I'm getting a large, plastic bubble to hide in. That way, I won't get hurt and germs won't get me. You can thank John Tesh for that idea.)
  6. Super glue. (Apparently people package their holiday gifts with super glue. I did not know. And apparently super glue resembles eye drops. Gosh, I would love to be there for that.)
  7. Snow sprays.
  8. Poinsettias.
  9. Holly. The berries are toxic and kids can die after ingesting twenty berries. (Why parents let their kids just sit and eat holly is beyond me. And who even uses real holly? I've never even seen the stuff. It's all plastic-Garden Ridge holly.
  10. Jerusalem Cherry. Every part of this plant is toxic. And people still keep it around.. Hmmm..
  11. And finally, mistletoe. The leaves, stems, and berries are all toxic.
Funny that mistletoe should be on the list. Because that is one of the biggest dangers of all. My dears, I have come to warn you of the biggest holiday danger of all: Nargles.
Nargles love to hide in mistletoe. They are terrible thieves. Luna Lovegood is a victim. However, you can keep them at bay easily. Just make a Butterbeer cork necklace and radish earrings. Nargles can't stand radishes.
I hope you found this educational, helpful, and beneficial to your holiday safety. There has yet to be a Nargle- extermination- technique that complies with both FDA and Wizard-standards. So, fellow holiday-goers, beware of Nargles and avoid the mistletoe.

Christmas Inspiration

Audrey Kitching posted a bunch of Christmas inspiration photos on her blog today. So, I thought I would share some of the seasonal pictures that I find inspiring, too. Hope you like them! Oh, you can check out what inspires her here. Check it out. It's super duper cool! All rightie, *in Mario voice* let's-a go!! 
Wait!! Here's a little Christmas tuneage to go along with this article. Hope you like it. I love that website. You can pick whatever style you want!! All right, now you can go.

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 Thought I hate this movie with a passion-- it ruined the Grinch-- I do love her hair and the overall look of the movie.

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 Some crackpot psychologist has decided that this movie promotes bullying. Okay, then. We'll go with that.

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A little Gaga Christmas carol. She did a beautiful job with it.

Peer editing

I absolutely detest dissecting others writing. Especially published pieces. Writing is a very intimate thing. Not so much for readers as for the author. I feel that ripping every sentence apart is a disgrace. Why did they write that? Who is the audience? What reason was this written? Whom is this written to? Why? BECAUSE THEY WELL FELT LIKE IT. It sometimes gives authors peace of mind and takes something off their shoulders to put things down in writing. I know it does for me. I doubt the author had all these reasons for writing. Maybe they felt like it. Entertainment, education, whatever. That's their writing. Can't we just leave it alone? I don't mind reading and discussing the writing. But I don't think Piggy's weight has any symbolism. I don't think the color of Ron's hair mattered all that much. I swear, English teachers sometimes put more thought into books than the actual author did! Like, here's a conversation that I wouldn't put past an English teacher:
Teacher- Why does the main character wear knee socks?
Student- She thinks they're comfy.. And they cover up the fact that she didn't shave her legs.
Teacher- Maybe. But do you think that they could stand for... Communism???
Student- Uhm.. I guess maybe.

Like, I highly doubt that, when the author was writing, they seriously stopped to think about knee socks and Communism. And, in that case, I'm a major Communist. Except, I couldn't care less about the government. Oh well.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Inspiration

Today, I am a mixture of some old, some new, but all classic style icons. My hair is incredibly Barbara-inspired, swept up and off of my neck with a bump in front. My eyes are incredibly Edie Sedgwick-esque with thick, black eyeliner and shadow. And my jewelry is channeling Audrey, with a high, gem-covered choker.

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 So, I just realized that my eyes could be Streisand-ish. But, since I thought of Edie when I did them, they're Edie-esque.
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Monday, December 19, 2011

"Not Afraid"

So.. I got bored and decided to go through my old Facebook notes. I thought this one was clever and would be a lot funnier considering I went from 100 or so songs to 834. Let's see how it goes!

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE

Opening Credits:
"My Way" by Frank Sinatra

Waking Up:
"The Sky and I" by Scarlet Grey

First Day at School:
"Better than Revenge" by Taylor Swift

Falling in Love:
"Innocent" by Taylor Swift

Fight Song:
"Little Red Corvette" by Prince

Breaking Up:
"King of Pride Rock (Instrumental)" by

Prom:
"Sulfur" by Slipknot

Life:
"Again Again" by Lady Gaga

Mental Breakdown:
"Just Dance" by Lady Gaga

Driving:
"Take My Breath Away" by Berlin

Flashback:
"Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart" by Alicia Keys

Getting Back Together:
"Fences" by Paramore

Wedding:
"Castle Down" by Emilie Autumn

Birth of Child:
"I'd Lie" by Taylor Swift

Final Battle:
"Mayfly" by Rasputina

Prison:
"Dead is the New Alive" by Emilie Autumn

Death Scene:
"Judas" by Lady Gaga

Funeral Song:
"Seduction" by Eminem

Heaven song:
"Don't Trust Me" by 3Oh!3

Reincarnation song:
"Vanity" by Lady Gaga

Ending credits song:
"By the Sword" by Emilie Autumn

What you will post this as:
"Not Afraid" by Eminem

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I'm just that pimp

So, every week in AP Human Geography, we have to read a chapter of "The World Is Flat" and write a one-page summary of the chapter. I felt pretty pimp because, last week, I managed to reference BOTH Hamlet AND Yoda in my first paragraph. It made me happy. Especially since I knew the quotes.. I didn't have to Google them. I have a mind for quotes. So.. Here is my uberly exciting first paragraph:

   The ninth chapter of “The World Is Flat”  is entitled “This Is Not a Test”. Friedman titled it so because he discusses how we have to change or drown. For years, we have been told that we better change to keep up with the changes. Friedman now says that we don’t have time to piddle and ponder over to change or not to change. “Hamlet” is outdated. The question “to be or not to be” cannot stand in our world anymore. We must now follow Yoda, “do or do not, there is no try.” This isn’t just a Cold War. The war of business, of outsourcing, of modern times, is red-hot and happening on our doorstep. Friedman tells us that, to keep up with the flattened world, we must change. America is ignoring this problem, comfortable in being “on top.” Stressing the importance of change, of knocking down political barriers and other walls, Friedman shakes America awake. While providing real-life examples, Friedman encourages hard workers, creativity, and life-long learning.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mind Boggle

Haha my blog is now on the RIGHT side because I felt like being a punk! Don't be afraid to rebel! Conformity is evil.
Okay. Done with that. Conform if you want. Know what's weird? Saying "Don't succumb to peer pressure." because, either way, you're succumbing to peer pressure! Peers pressure you not to succumb to peer pressure. So, if you don't succumb, you succumb. MIND BLOWN!! It's so crazy! 

Labels are for filing.  Labels are for clothing.  Labels are not for people.  ~Martina Navratilova

I rather like this quote. It's super cool but makes me wonder.. Why do all humans feel the need to be labelled? Or, more importantly, to rebel against labels? My generation are all "I am real. I am 100% unique. You can't label me." and then they turn around and call themselves "scene" and "hipsters" and whatever label they feel like. 
It's just strange. And I'm guilty of it, too. But, why are labels a bad thing? We are who we are. You're comfortable in your own skin, right? So why should you care what people label you? Because you label people. And sometimes they're meaner than "scene" or "hipster". We're so quick to label girls as "whores" and "skanks" and whatever else we want. "Bitch" is a common greeting nowadays. 
Now, I get that girls are self-destructive creatures. Whether we were hard-wired that way or it's a result of years and years of being told who we should be and what we should look like, I don't know. But we are. It's a fact. I've seen girls who can't weigh over 120 pounds, but they think they're fat. I see girls change relationships as quickly as they wash their hair.
Tons of makeup hide "ugly" girls. Actually, the ones that believe that they are ugly, are probably the prettiest. We post pictures of ourselves and say "ew, I look nasty!" (first of all, why did you post the picture if it was so nasty?) But secondly, you look gorgeous! Stop searching for attention. No matter how many boys call you "pretty" or "hot" or whatever else you want them to call you, it doesn't mean ANYTHING unless you believe it for yourself.
So, no. You aren't ugly. No, you aren't fat. No, your hair looks fine. No, that teeny zit that comes from raging hormones isn't the end of the world. It doesn't mean you should hide your face.
All in all, love your imperfections!! They make you who you are! Get over the fact that you don't look like Kim Kardashian. She's probably closer to a Barbie doll than a human. You want to look pretty? Try loving yourself first. Make yourself happy. Then you can start pleasing others.
Cindy Crawford is a famous model. However, even she has said "Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford."
If you aren't happy with your weight, stop starving yourself and bullying yourself. Do something about it. Start jogging, eat HEALTHY foods, drink more water! No, you won't look like Megan Fox. You never will. However, if you look like a happy version of who you are, you'll be as beautiful as Megan Fox.
So, ladies, stop it. Stop bullying yourself and beating yourself down. If you really do hate yourself as much as you claim to, seek professional help. If you actually like yourself but love being called pretty, stop seeking attention. There are girls out the who actually DO have problems. 
To quote Christina Aguilera, "'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down, oh no
You are beautiful in every single way."
Start feeling like you are. Love yourself

“Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”

 

Friday, December 16, 2011

Popular


This is the song that's going through my head because I just checked my blog stats!! Eeep!!!!! I'm so excited, I love you guys so much! It makes my day whenever I find out that someone reads my blog!! So just.. thank you! Thanks to the people in Spain, the Netherlands, Canada, Saudi Arabia, Ukraine, the UK, Bahrain, Germany, Russia, and the US. (I found it odd that Russia was the second most popular with 164 total views.. I don't know any Russians. But спасибо to those who do!!) So... I decided to share some of the cooler stats with you guys. Let me know if this bores/irritates you. I thought it was super cool but I'm biased.

My Most Popular Posts (which TOTALLY helps me figure out what to write about) are:

To find my blog, people like to Google things such as: "gothic little christmas", "adderall awkward", "adderall queen", and "and remembering because you". 
My blog is popular to Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Safari. To add to the age-old Windows vs. 
Mac
arguments, the Masochistic Beaver is more popular to Windows viewers by far!! Mac users, step up! 
(I'm a Windows girl. But I've never had a Mac to compare it to.)
Masochistic Beavers have visited this page seventeen times today! They visited 31 times yesterday and 738 
times last month!!!
Wow!! Again, thank you guys SO MUCH!!!!!! It totally makes blogging worthwhile when I know that people
 read it!

I love...

TREE HOUSES! They are so pretty and I just love them! Especially the amazingly epic ones that are like actual houses. Like, you can LIVE in a TREE HOUSE! When I grow up, my kids are totally going to have a tree house.
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 I only love the top two. The bottom two are just too high-tech. I like the ones that fit in with the tree, instead of take over the tree.

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They're all just so pretty! I also adore the little cottages that people get for their kids! They are just too cute!

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This one reminds me of Hansel and Gretle!! Like, the old woodcutters cottage.. Magic definitely happens in that little playhouse.