Today, I realized the extent of my shyness. And that I can never get a job in the food industry. Especially pizza delivery.
A pizza guy came and knocked on our door. I began to freak out and refused to answer the door since I knew it wasn't ours. That's when I realized: I can never go into the food industry.
Pizza delivery: I'm way too shy to ever ring anybody's door. What if it's the wrong door? What if it's the wrong pizza? Like, here's how a situation that would probably happen if I had to deliver pizza.
Me: *inside my head* What if it's the wrong door? What if it's the wrong pizza? What if the pizza is wrong? Ohmygosh! What if a kid answers the door? What if it's a teenager/young-looking person and I ask for their parents and the kid is the one that ordered the pizza? Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to ring the bell. You can do it. Come on, you can do it. Let's go, Dylan! It's no big deal. Just a doorbell. What if they have a dog?? What if it's all RAAAAAAAAAAWR!! and scary and embarrassing? No. No. Shut up. Ring the doorbell. *rings doorbell* They're taking a long time. What if they didn't hear? It'll be awkward to just be standing here forever.. Have I been standing here too long? Maybe I should ring it again.. Oh, no. No. Then I'll look obnoxious. Well, maybe I should ring it-- *door opens*
Person: Oh hello. *goes to take pizza and pay me*
Me: HERE'SYOURPIZZA!! *throws pizza at them and runs*
So, that's a terrible situation. I should just work at JCPenney's. Then it'd be:
Some lady: Where are your jeans?
Me: *points to jeans*
Some lady: Thank you. Good bye.
Yeah. That seems harmless. Until.. Back-to-School/Some-Crazy-Sale season and the register stops working/the "sale" item isn't actually a sale item/the computer rings the sale item up as a non-sale item and then all hell ensues.. But I won't think about that.
Too late. I already thought about it. Maybe I should just become a hermit. I could blog for my living. Or something like that. As long as it doesn't deal with people.