Disney and Feminism

What is with this new kick of harshing Disney movies because they aren't feminist? Is it because Brave just came out or something? I don't understand it. And, to be honest, it kind of irritates me a little.
I consider myself a feminist. And I absolutely adore Disney movies. Because I take them for what they are. They're movies for little kids. They're meant to be fun, child-friendly, appropriate for all ages and homes.
Well, they don't give proper feminist messages!
First of all, look at when they were made. I mean, Snow White came out in 1937, for crying out loud! Beauty and the Beast was made in 1991. I mean, they're pretty old movies. And they're designed for children. (Plus, many of them are based off of fairy tales. The best known are Grimm's fairy tales. Those things are from 1811! There were not many feminists back then.)
Children who care more about singing crabs and fairies than they do about bra burnings or the evils of patriarchy. They don't care if Aurora is repressed! They don't care if Jasmine is nothing more than a sex symbol! THEY'RE FIVE! They only care about the woodland creatures in the Phillip's boots and Genie's next joke.
And, for the older ones, we should be mature enough to take them at what they are. Cartoons. Fun little movies. There's no need to nit-pick the finer details of Cinderella. We can just enjoy Fairy Godmother without giving a dichotomy on her.
Well, what is this teaching our children?
YOU SHOULD BE TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN! You brought the critters into this world. Now raise them. You teach your kids that Cinderella isn't just a piece of meat. It's your job to instill morals, beliefs, and feminist slogans into your children. It's not Disney's job. They don't care. Their princesses are obviously successful. Billions of people love them and their movies. Don't go ruining it for us. We know that Ariel makes bad choices. Teach your kids not to make those same choices.
And, if you honestly hate them so much, don't watch the movies. Don't purchase from Disney. Don't sit your kids in front of the telly to rot their brains with sexist propaganda. Nobody's forcing you to do that.

All in all, just relax. Take the movies for what they are. Children's movies designed for entertainment. Teach your kids that women are not prizes to be won (bonus for anybody who got that reference) and actual people. It's not Disney's job to raise your kids.

Sleep

Source

Sleep. It is a vital process. Everybody needs it. Everybody is friends with sleep. Except me. Sleep and I have a very volatile relationship.
I think I'm programmed to be a night-owl. However, I do not like it, my mother does not like it, and my social life (what little there is) does not like it. However, sleep enjoys toying with me. I can stay up really easily. In fact, I started off this summer going from 10:00 bedtime to midnight to 6:00 in a matter of days. I'm fine with sleeping at midnight or two. I can still wake up in time to be a normal human.
However, if my friends want to do something at 5, I will have to wake up early to get ready. Which is ridiculous. I don't enjoy sleeping all day. Sure, I beat the heat. And everything else there is.
Plus, with my wacky sleep schedule, I'm always tired! Ben came over the other day. I was sleeping when he got there. He woke me up. I stayed awake for half an hour. Then, I fell back asleep for two hours. The only reason it was just two is because he woke me up. I stayed awake for a few hours, but he had to drag me away from the edges of a nap multiple times. We went out for dinner. I passed out in the car. And not cute, snuggles and cuddles napping that I usually do. No. Stock still, head thrown back, mouth wide open, completely ignoring his presence passed out.
I don't like this at all. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am. So, I try to go to bed earlier. No way, Jose. I can screw my schedule up, but there's almost no way to fix it. I can not go to bed earlier if I try. Put me in a car? I slept all the way to New Hampshire once, simply because I was bored. I sleep through entire states on road trips. Georgia? Nope. We are not passing through Georgia with a conscious me.
I have formed a diabolical plot, though. I am going to get very little sleep tonight. I will go to bed early tomorrow. I will get very little sleep tomorrow. I am going to back it up until I get to sleep at midnight. Wish me luck!

Note: Why do people say "sleeping like a baby"? Babies are terrible at sleeping. They're always waking up screaming bloody murder. That's why you never see well-rested new mothers.

Pro-Tattoo

I recently came across an article opposing tattoos. And, normally, I wouldn't mind. However, this person was just being plain rude, in my opinion. Whenever I mention tattoos I get a slew of responses opposing them. "What will they look like when you're old?" "You're going to regret them." "You're so pretty. Why ruin it with tattoos?" "They'll look gross in a few years." "Have you thought about when you get a job?" "You were made a certain way." "If you're just going to hide them, what's the point?"
Well, let's look at these arguments. Maybe it's just because I'm young, but I would like to voice my opinion anyway.
1) When I age, my tattoos will wrinkle. When I age, my skin will wrinkle. I will be an old prune no matter what. I might as well have fun when I'm young. The way I see it, if a tattoo makes me happy for almost forty years, I can deal with twenty years of grossness. Because that's a permanent memory on me. And, the way I'm planning my tattoos, I won't be faced with them every single day. And, if somebody sees my tattoos and decides that they don't love me because of them, fine. I don't need you anyways.
2) You're going to regret them. Maybe. However, I plan on putting a lot of thought into my tattoos. And, if it's a well thought out, well designed piece of art on me, I won't regret it. And I'd much rather have one bit of screwed-up ink than my entire life regretting not doing something. Many adults have told me something they regret not doing when they were my age. I don't want to ever regret not doing something. I'd much rather regret a few inches of skin after years of happiness than a lifetime of being a stick-in-the-mud.
3) Why ruin your body? The way I see it, I'm enhancing my body with personal, permanent, portable art. Not graffiti. If it makes me happy, then I'm not ruining anything.
4) They'll look gross. Actually, according to this lovely man they're redesigning tattoo ink so it doesn't fade so quickly. I plan on having my tattoos easily hidden. Someplace I won't be faced with them daily. And, again, after years of being happy with it, I'm okay with that. If I really hate it, I can get it removed.
5) A job. This just seems to be everybody's argument against everything. "Don't get piercings. You'll want a job." "Don't get tattooed. Will people hire you?" "Nobody's going to hire somebody with pink hair." Well, I can take my piercings out and cover the small holes with make up. I can dye my hair back or find some place that won't make me change. And, the standby "nobody hires tattooed people." Well, if I hide my tattoos, like I plan to, they won't see it. In fact, I know of a woman with a respectable job that does have a tattoo. And guess what? Nobody knows because nobody sees it. Or! I could be a total rebel, take the Kaylah approach, and become self-employed.
6) The "Born This Way" argument. Well, Lady Gaga, thank you for that. I was also born with terrible vision, but I'm not going to walk into walls. You were born with brown hair, now you're blond. She had her hair chemically straightened. He was born with a heart defect. We were all born this way, and chose to alter ourselves to suit our lives. I'm not judging you for your highlights, please don't judge me for doing what makes me happy.

7) If you're just going to hide them... They make me happy. Do I need another reason? I like them. I want them. If I can buy them and still pay my taxes, why do you care? My mother has dishes for special occasions, just like my tattoos will be. However, nobody tells her she shouldn't have her dishes because you don't see them every day.

All in all, my belief on life is "live and let live." If I'm not hurting you or anybody else, then what business do you have telling me what to do? 

Harry Potter

**SPOILERS** I feel the need to put this, even though everybody should have read the books/seen the movies already. I mean, the last book came out in 2007, and the last movie is two years old. But, still, I don't want to ruin it for anybody.



I love Harry Potter. I am a big fan of the characters, the books, some of the movies, everything. However, what I don't understand, is why people wanted to be around Harry. I mean, let's look at his life:
Infant, innocent child. A notorious dark wizard hunts you down and tries to KILL YOU. YOU ARE AN INFANT! The most you can do is spit up on his robes. He still wants you dead. Is that not sign one?
Fast forward a little bit to his first year at Hogwarts. He's eleven. The year's pretty nice, generally good. Until the end. Then he has a run-in with the same dark wizard who has taken over his DAtDA teacher's body. And somebody dies. Not to mention, his best friend nearly dies in a chess match. Well, that's okay. One person is dead because of Harry. (Well, sorta kinda two because he did defeat Voldemort as an infant.)
Year two. Strange happenings at Hogwarts. Not to mention, a house elf sends him multiple messages telling him to stay away from Hogwarts. He goes. Now, in his defense, he is twelve and doesn't have the best judgement. Fast forward. People start becoming petrified. They can not move. They're basically statues. (This happens to multiple people. Dumbledore only considers the possibility of shutting down Hogwarts. So, I think bad decision-making is just a trait common in wizards.) Everybody believes Harry is the heir of Slytherin. I think that, if anybody considered me to be the heir of a pretty negative person, I'd step back and take a long look at myself. But no. I digress. At the end of the year, Ron's sister nearly dies. Harry has, yet again, another run-in with Voldy. He is followed by the darkest wizard ever and people still hang out with him.
Year three. A very dangerous prisoner escapes and comes looking for Harry. He is found INSIDE the school. But Harry still roams free, as opposed to being kept away from what-could-easily-be innocent victims. Harry then ditches school, confronts said dangerous escapee, has a run-in with a werewolf, and almost loses his soul to Dementors. Why are people still his friends?
Year four. The well-protected goblet of fire only accepts wizards older than Harry. It will only spit out three names. Somehow, it spits out four. The fourth? Underage Harry Potter. After a slew of safe, just-for-fun, near-death experiences, Harry completes a maze. In the center of the maze? THE SAME DARK LORD THAT HAS BEEN GOING AFTER HARRY SINCE HE WAS AN INFANT. (Yes, I know it was a PortKey and everything. I'm just condensing everything.) Harry almost dies fighting this guy yet again and emerges. With a dead student. Yet people still think he's a great guy. Or marked by something that leads to near-death experiences time and time again.
Year five. Pretty boring year, we're skipping to the end. Voldemort, the recurring villain, shows up in the middle of the wizarding governmental building. Harry has to fight him. Again. His godfather dies, his best friend is brutally injured, lots of his peers almost die, but all is well. Harry is right. Let's stick around him.
Year six. Lots of craziness ending up with the safest place in the wizarding world being invaded by Voldy's minions. The headmaster, greatest wizard ever, dies. All of this is culminated by Harry's life.
Year seven is quite eventful. Harry, Ron, and Hermione drop out of school. Hermione erases her parents' memories. Ron puts his entire family at risk. Death Eaters crash the wedding. Voldemort's taken over the wizarding government. Harry goes on a clueless hunt across the English countryside, nearly killing himself and his friends many times, to destroy Voldy. This whole shebang ends in a giant battle at Hogwarts that winds up with every semi-main character dying. Harry dies. Death Eaters nearly destroy Hogwarts. Voldemort gets into the fray himself. (All ends well.)

But, throughout the years, people stay with near-death-experience-prone Harry. The kid attracts death, danger, and crazies like flies. Oh the craziness and poor decision-making that is the wonderful world of Harry. I still love him, though.

The Meaning of My Blog Title

So, in case you guys don't know, my blog is titled "Masochistic Beaver on Adderall" or just "Masochistic Beaver." I just wanted to check in and figured I'd explain my blog title.
Masochism is deriving pleasure from punishment. A beaver is... Well, it's a beaver. And Adderall is a drug used to treat ADD/ADHD.
I am not a masochist. I am not ADD. And I am not a beaver. The name is just an inside joke between an old friend and me. Her mother jokingly told us that we had tried to do nearly everything together except start a band. We tried to start a band that night. While creating hardcore, purposely obscure, indie band names, our two favorites were "Masochistic Beavers" and "Penguins on Adderall." We combined the two.
When creating my blog, I needed a funny, yet unusual name for it. "Masochistic Beavers on Adderall" was the first thing that came to mind. But, since there was only one of me, I made it into only one beaver.
I think the word "masochistic" came to mind so easily thanks to Twilight. When creating the name, we were still in the grip of being teenaged Twi-hards. A famous line from the novel is "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion."

And there you have it, folks! The Masochistic Beaver on Adderall!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I recently watched a movie (and by "recently" I mean "I just finished watching this move") called "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." This will be about that movie. But not a review. More over, the thoughts it triggered. Here's the trailer, because I don't want to sum it up.

(Fun fact: I really like this movie and highly recommend watching it. However, I really do not like Jim Carrey. I think he's obnoxious.)

The whole point of this movie is erasing memories. And, as a thought, it's a brilliant idea. You erase a terrible relationship. No more heart ache, no regrets, no anger. Just, nothing. Your life would be, from your perspective, perfect.

But the whole idea of erasing memories freaks me out. Memories are what make us people. What make us unique. Memories are what separate me from you. We can look exactly the same. We could be identical twins. However, we'd be different. We'd have different memories. Essentially, if it went far enough, that procedure could erase who we are. Which freaks me out.

And, when it comes to failed relationships or bad experiences, that's what makes us smarter. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And, honestly, I wouldn't erase any of my bad experiences. I learn from them, I grow from them. My relationships are trial-and-error. "Oh hey, it isn't good for relationships when you set their mailbox ablaze. I won't do that again." Next relationship, no burning mailboxes. But I learn that you shouldn't submerge their cats. So I learn. With every failed attempt, we grow stronger. We learn what to do and what not to do. 

I really hope I've communicated thoroughly in this and I didn't seem like some heroin-addict monkey. I've just been staying up super late recently. And I don't like that. My summer bedtime is supposed to be 2. I've been staying up until 6 or 7. So, brilliant me, I've decided to stay up all night and all day and then go to bed earlier tomorrow. Maybe this will work. Maybe it won't. But it will leave memories for me to grow from. And that's all that matters.

Ageism

Ageism is prejudice due to somebody's age. And, being a teenager, I see it a lot. It really isn't right. And it isn't cool to do. So I will talk about the various "kinds" of ageism that teenagers, and young people in general, see.

The first one revolves around babies. I've gotten many dirty looks in public, because I dare to be seen with a baby. The baby isn't even mine, he doesn't look like me. However, since I am young, and simply holding the child, he is mine. And we all know what teen moms are like. They all sleep around, are totally irresponsible, won't go anywhere in life, probably tried for the baby because they want to be on MTV, the list goes on.. And on.. And on. But none of it's true! Sure, there are some girls out there that do that. But I shouldn't be forced to wear a scarlet TM on my clothes for simply holding a child. My mom once overheard a nasty comment from a complete stranger because of my brother and I. When I was born, she was 21 and married. Kyle came along 2 years later. She was still married, to the same man. However, because she looked young, it was disgraceful to have kids.
But, honestly, there's no way to win with teen pregnancy. If you keep the baby, you're going nowhere in life and you're a failure and aren't fit to have a child. You're automatically put on welfare and supported by the government. You won't go to college, may or may not finish high school. Your baby daddy will leave you. If you give the baby up for adoption, you'll regret it and wish you hadn't and become a psychopath. If you abort the fetus, you're terrible and selfish and just killed another human being. And, if you are the father, you're a bum and took advantage of her and will leave your child. You're a deadbeat dad and terrible. Your honeymooning stage will only last so long, then you'll leave her. It's really a lose-lose-lose sitatuion.

The second one revolves around appearance. I have a teal mohawk. I oftentimes wear crazy makeup. I get praised for my free spirit and individuality. However, for every compliment I get, I get two glares when I go out in public. I'm automatically a punk, no-good, a rebel, destined to dropout of high school. I automatically smoke and drink and party. I'm the conservative mother's worst nightmare, the person that they don't want their kid to become. However, if they took the time to get to know me, they'd know I make A's and B's. They'd know I love classic movies, Tchaikovsky, and detest underage drinking/smoking. But I am young and look differently than they do.
Don't get me wrong. Teens are just as responsible for stereotyping based on looks as adults are. But I rarely ever get a glare from a fellow teen for having a shaved head. More often than not, they'll stop to pet the sides of my head.

Third one revolves around money. Jessica and Stacy were both stereotyped in this way. A restaurants, waiters will often glare and treat teenagers poorly. We get it, you want a tip, that's where a lot of your money is made. We're no strangers to the plight of lacking funds.
Jessica says that, "Anytime my friends and I would go out to eat, our waitresses would be SO rude and we'd get the worst service. THEY assumed that because we were young, we wouldn't tip well. I was ALWAYS a good tipper. They missed out." My mom got the same treatment once, and the guy wound up fired for it. But, honestly, you would get great tips if you were nice to a group of teenagers. No, we don't have endless pockets. However, if it's a decent group, we'll all chip in a few bucks for tip. I know my friends and I once went out to get pizza. Our waiter was so nice. We spilled two drinks and he just laughed it off. At the end of the night, our waiter got a really nice tip. There were about seven of us. We couldn't tip him more than a few bucks each, but, by each contributing what we had, he got a really hefty tip. (Note: It was all in ones and loose change. But money is money.)
Stacy got stereotyped in the stores. "The store clerks look at you weird and keep checking on you because they think you won't buy anything, you'll just steal." Yes, there are teens that do steal. However, that's not every single one of us. Mall cops once followed a group of friends and me through the mall. Apparently, we were too big of a group, so we were a gang. So many stores asked us to leave, because large groups of teenagers provide distractions for one of us to be able to steal. It was ridiculous. Then, to make matters worse, the fire alarm went off. No less than three mall cops vaporized out of thin air around us. We were nowhere near a fire alarm.

Fourth one is mental capacity. A lot of adults feel that, since I'm a teenager, I'm not capable of forming intelligent thoughts. Katie would often have people stop talking to her once they found out her age. Cass was told that she was too young for things. (I don't know what things they were. Because telling a twelve-year-old she's too young to drive, okay. But telling a seventeen-year-old she can't go to pride, no.) Recently, I was involved in a debate/argument on YouTube. The "gentleman" that I was arguing with told me that "once I grew up I would understand, and they didn't feel like wasting their time on a silly, clueless little girl. I should go crying to Mommy and Daddy, and let them tell me their grown up opinion. I still have a lot of growing up to do." I was yelled at to "GROW UP" and told that they weren't that clueless at my age. Because, since I am younger than thirty, my brain is obviously not capable of rational, adult thought. I'm just a silly little girl and don't understand anything about the world. Another YouTuber was so nice to chime in that I was "zit-faced and pea brained. I was dumber than a load of bricks, obviously a blond. And, that, if I was their child, they'd slap me." (Note: Hair color has nothing to do with intelligence. And, I may be young, but physical abuse is not the way to educate a child.)
It just really rubs me the wrong way when people seem surprised or amused by my thoughts or reasoning. I deserve a say in matters. I'm clever when I agree with you. Don't smirk when my thoughts differ from yours. No, my brain is not fully developed yet. However, it won't do a thing when I'm constantly being put down, belittled for my age, told that I'm not smart enough, that I need an adult's opinion because I'm not capable of rational thought. I am an Honors student. I work my butt off to get A's and B's. I just left a school for the gifted and talented. I understand such concepts as Schrodinger, Freud, and Fibonacci. But, if I offer my opinion on such matters as education, gay marriage, or anything else that adults discuss, I'm just a foolish little girl.

Finally, there is general stereotyping. And, of course, they can't stereotype the good or neutral things. They can't assume that we'll be studying every night to ace our exam, or tutoring each other in Spanish. They just stereotype that we'll be drinking or smoking. Nessa was often looked at as a demon child, because her peers drink and smoke, they automatically assume that she does, too. That's entirely unfair. I don't consume alcohol. I've never even put a puff of tobacco in my lungs, much less marijuana. But teenagers before me have kind of destroyed any record I could hope of having. Lexi was kicked out of the talent show in middle school, because "all the sixth graders didn't sound right."

I hope that, through this, I've prompted some of you to think before you judge somebody based on age. Sure, they may have pink hair and a nose ring. That doesn't make them terrible people. And the girls in jeans and tshirts aren't automatically saints because they don't look freaky. All in all, we're people, too. We have feelings that get hurt, just like yours. In fact, I would venture to say that ours are hurt more easily than yours. Being a teen, we have enough to deal with. We don't need your glares and whispers. Thank you very much for treating us like real people. We think. We may not always have the best thoughts, but we're still learning. Give us time. You wouldn't belittle a toddler for stumbling and falling while learning to walk. Don't belittle us for stumbling. As my parents always say, growing up, we're going to fall on our face sometimes. But that doesn't make us down-and-out.


Huge thanks to my Swamp Family for their additions to this! I love all the feedback I got for it, and tried to include everything I got. If you didn't make it in time, feel free to comment below! <3 Thanks again and huge hugs!


Update: Kelsey is told, by her mom's boyfriend, "you're seventeen years old. What do you know?" whenever she tries to give her opinion on something.

Tattoos Part 235

I'm very picky about tattoos. And I change my mind quite a bit about what I want. However, I've started to keep a notebook of tattoo-ideas. The way I see it if I still want the same tattoo when I'm old enough to get them, I can do it without much regret. However, if I don't want it, oh well. It was an idea. So here are some of my current favorite ideas:

1. I want to get feet tattoos. I just like them. And I want my mom and dad to write a little note to me on my feet and get those notes tattoos. Nothing long. I don't need an epic poem, my feet are only an 8.5! But just "At least it wasn't towels <3 Mama" would be nice.
2. A Fibonacci spiral on my back. I'm quite in love with math and Fibonacci. I'd want a large shoulder piece, but I don't want a lot on it. I want something very simple. Plus, it would be a sort of tip-of-the-hat to Mrs. Booth, one of the most influential people in my life.
3. I want children. And I think it would be really awesome to have their feet tattooed up my side. Like the traditional baby feet, but with a twist. I only have two shoulders (reserved for Fibonacci) and I want four kids.
4. As a nod of the head to my ChaCha and Grammy, I want to get "to die would be an awfully big adventure" and a fairy (maybe Tinkerbell, maybe not) at the base of my neck. ChaCha loved Peter Pan and Grammy loves Tinkerbell.
5. A Lord of the Rings quote. This one doesn't have a profound meaning or anything. I just like it. "The crownless again shall be king"
6. Then, for my Granny and PopPop, I'd love to get a little frog with a mustache, chef's hat, and John Lennon glasses and have the little frog be holding a whisk.
7. "Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars." I just think it's entirely romantic and fantastic that we are made of stardust.
8. "We are such stuff as dreams are made on" I just love that quote. Dreams are a source of endless fascination for me.
9. This one I am very on-the-fence about. It is a quote from the Bible. However, I found it in A Wrinkle In Time by Madeline L'Engle. I really like the quote, but I'm not a religious person. I never have been. And I don't want people to get the wrong idea from it. But, what the heck! I have years to decide. "And the light shineth in the darkness. And the darkness comprehended it not."

That's it for now!

#ToMyFutureKids

There's a trending topic on twitter that's "To My Future Kids." I have a lot to say, and 140 characters won't cut it. So here we go.

To my future kids:
I really don't care what you grow up to be and what you do while you're growing up. As long as it doesn't hurt anybody, do whatever you want. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to play sports, play sports. If you want to be an artist, just let me know what you need. However, whatever you choose to do, you better be the best you can be at it. You don't have to be number one. I don't expect to give birth to the next Picasso (though that would be nice). However, I won't tolerate a few half-hearted stabs at a canvas, or a slow jog around the soccer field. If you're going to do something, you commit to it. You don't have to grow up and go to college on a soccer scholarship. If you don't like, you finish the season and don't do it again. But you give your all at whatever you choose to do.
Don't let anybody tell you that you can't do something. In fact, use that as inspiration to work harder. If somebody tells you that you can't really dance, use that to fuel your drive. I'll be there cheering you on all the way. You can do it.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes. You'll mess up. If there was one way to live life, we'd be born with an instruction book. I know that I'll make mistakes. Mommy won't be perfect. However, mistakes are what make you unique. And never regret anything you do. If it made you happy at some point, then it's done its job. Just let it go when you're done. Forget about it and move on.
I don't care what you grow up to be, as long as you're happy. If you want 45 tattoos and 12 piercings and to be a musician, let me know when your next concert is. If you want to be a teacher, or a lawyer, or a dancer, you go! And that also goes for sexual orientation. Son, if you feel more comfortable as my daughter, become my daughter. Daughter, if you aren't so into boys, you'd better let me meet your girlfriends, for we'll hold the same standards no matter who your partner is. As long as you're happy and know what you want to do in this world, I've done my job as a parent. (But I better get grandkids out of one of you.)
You will finish high school. You will finish college. You will not skip school without my permission. You will be respectable citizens. Period. End of story. I don't care what you choose to do, but you will get a degree in whatever-it-is.

To my future daughters:
You are gorgeous. The other girls are silly, and jealous, and don't know how to deal with their emotions. Don't let them tell you you aren't good enough. And don't tell them that they aren't good enough. You're perfect in my eyes. You'll be perfect in somebody's eyes. Just give it time. Growing up sucks, and isn't for sissies. Your weight is fine, your nose isn't crooked, my hair stuck out in crazy directions, too. Just ignore the naysayers and be your own person. The people worth being with will see how perfect you are. If not, Mama will have Daddy beat them up for you. And the boys (or girls) you bring home better treat you with respect. I don't care what their appearance is, they better be a nice person and tell you how pretty/wonderful/smart/funny you are. Basically, they'd better think about you the same way I think about you.

To my future sons:
Oy vey.. You're the reason why my hair is graying. Let's see.. The same thing I told your sisters goes for you. But don't be afraid to go into theater instead of football. Don't be afraid to like opera better than screamo. Don't be afraid to be unique, and go against all gender stereotypes. I'll be there to support you the whole way through. You'd better respect everybody you meet. I don't care if you don't like them, you'd better respect them. If you ever get into a fight, I'll kick your butt. You'd better treat all your partners with respect. No matter what they say, do, look like, act like, you will support them. If you don't like the relationship anymore, break it off. But be respectful about it. Stop rolling your eyes. Girls, what I said to your brothers applies to you, too.

I love all of you equally. And you will all drive me crazy at times. I might yell at you. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. You're-- quite literally-- a part of me. All of you. So love each other. One day, I won't be here. One day, you'll be all you have left. You will always be siblings and you will always be my babies. =) <3 And I am Italian, so I will have no fear of guilt-tripping you. Let's just clear that up now. There's so much more I will want to say to you, but I'll say it when the time comes. Until then, stop that. Whatever you are doing that you know I won't/may not/might possibly/could ever not like. Stop it.