Is it a choice?

You know, the stereotype that all gay men are flamboyant really got me thinking. Obviously, not every homosexual man is in-your-face. However, are the ones that ARE flamboyant because that's who they are, or because that's what society tells them what they should be?
I mean, just look at almost every pop culture representation of a gay male. They're very in-your-face, flamboyant, and almost harass every male they deem attractive. It's parodying an entire group of people, but I digress.
Women, in pop culture, are told that we need to be slim, shapely, cook, clean, be modest, raise children, whiten our teeth, apply flawless makeup, try slews of diets, etc. Women in real-life, after being bombarded by this messaging, begin to act the way that society deems proper and feminine.
So, if gay males are constantly being bombarded with messages that, to be a true homosexual, you must be flamboyant, open, constantly cheerful, in-your-face, all these things that we constantly see, wouldn't they do the same thing?
There's nothing wrong with being who you are! But pop culture and the media are known for their brain washing abilities. Could women be the only people affected? I don't think so. I think that society puts down strict social codes for every ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, and age range. And I find that to be revolting.

Whoreoween!

Slut shaming is running rampant in today's society. For those of you who don't know, slut shaming is insulting, looking down on, abusing, harassing, etc. a woman that is seen as "too sexual." If you've ever looked at any woman's mass produced Halloween costume made in the past five years, they are growing more and more sexual, with shorter hemlines, lower necks, and tighter fits.
Lots of people love to get their panties in a wad over this. They see it as trashy, a call for attention, being too openly sexual, and all of these terrible things. But, they're people, too.
First of all, it's their body. You wouldn't like it if I told you what to wear. Why does it become acceptable when you're telling a grown woman what she can wear? We shouldn't ostracize the majority of our population just because they don't dress according to our taste. If you don't approve of the way they dress, then don't dress that way yourself.
The human body is already taboo enough. Movies with violence, blood, gore, mass killings, explosions, missiles, guns, knives, and all sorts of murderous imagery are given PG-13 ratings. Movies with nudity, and sexual themes? They're given R-ratings.
There's also a huge amount of sexism when clothes become involved. Men are often shown shirtless, or in just their boxers. That's fine, accepted by both genders as perfectly A-OK! However, if a woman wears a shirt that is "too low-cut," she's labelled as a slut, whore, tramp, floozy, and other vicious words. Among first sight, not even a conversation, women are dumb, ditzy, willing to sleep with anybody, and never going anywhere in life because their skirts don't reach their ankles.
"It's demoralizing to become sexy." No, it isn't. I can not control what other people think. I wish I could, because I would end slut shaming, but I can't. So, for somebody else to see a fully grown woman as sexy? It's fine. Our thoughts can't be controlled, much less the thoughts of others. And a simple thought of "Oh, that woman looks attractive" doesn't hurt anybody. Only the actions do. And, as long as you feel attractive in what you are wearing, your morals are perfectly fine.
So, folks, stop tearing each other apart. Stop slut shaming. Stop this outdated, misogynistic, close-minded way of thinking! We need to work on equality, but we aren't going anywhere if we don't knock it off! I'm going to leave you with Laci Green to reinforce my message. Maybe you'll listen to a college graduate.

Happy Halloween!

Well, technically it's the day after Halloween (and the start of my birthday month!), but this message will work for whenever.

Halloween is a fun time of year when you get to dress up as somebody/something else, party, and get free candy. However, it's rife with sexism, slut-shaming, racism, and culture appropriation.
Let's start with the racism and cultural appropriation.

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Despite the obvious racial issues with the third costume, these are all guilty of racism and cultural appropriation. Native American head dresses nowadays are cool, hipster, and iconic-- of Lana Del Rey. However, they're very important, and not to be worn by the average Joe. They're reserved for the most powerful and influential tribe members. 

The problems with Native American costumes: We're erasing their culture and taking an important show of bravery away, so that we can be so cool. Then again, we're really good at erasing Native American history. I mean, open up a US History book. We're constantly moving them off of their holy land, massacring them when they don't obey us, and robbing them of everything they own. 

And don't you dare give me the "Well, I'm 1/64th Native American, so it's OK." You can't speak for all of one culture when you are one person. And, if you really are Native American, you should have more respect for your culture, history, and ancestors than to tout an important part of their lives so you can look like Lana. You are also not "borrowing" their culture. Why? Well, let's say that you are Christian. I take a very important cross necklace that your grandmother gave to you. But I'm just "borrowing" your culture. Even if I have no respect for it (I do respect all religions, by the way), it means something to you. 

Now onto the classic definition of racism: African American culture. Afro wigs are not appropriate to be wearing. You are taking a beautiful, confident woman that chooses to wear her natural hair, and turning it into a mockery. Dreadlocks, too. Since, you know, all "proper" stoner/70's/hippie outfits have either an afro or dreadlocks. So, essentially, you're taking natural hair, turning it into a great big joke, while adding a stigma.

To put it into layman's terms, imagine that I put on a blonde wig. I begin to act ditzy, self-centered, and shallow. You know, because all blondes are dumb and shallow. Oh, wait? I'm being unfair? Sorry, it's just a costume!

I shouldn't even have to talk about parodying people of color. It's not acceptable to be Kanye West, Snoop Dogg, or anybody else. You're parodying an entire culture. Yes, you're incredibly witty (dripping sarcasm, of course) when you dress up as Diana Ross and begin to scream at the top of your lungs, and get over-emotional about some things. Oh wait, you're not. You're being stereotypical and racist.

Muslim culture is not filled with terrorists. In fact, according to an Islamic website, there's no violence at all. Surprising, right? I mean, a religion whose practices are as violent as a declaration of faith, prayer, charity, fasting, and pilgrimage.... Wait, what? That sounds a lot like Christianity... Hm, well, Christians must be savage, too, then. But, I know a lot of Christians and they aren't savage at all. Get my point, guys?

I'm going to leave you with a video on cultural appropriation and Halloween racism. I'll return to slutty costumes at a later time! Bye, guys!

My Feelings Are Legitimate

"Young Love" "Puppy Love" "It won't last" "You don't know what love is"
We've all heard this, right? In one of our first relationships, we were told that we didn't know what love was by our elders. I really, really, really hate when people say this.
It's their first relationship, of course they don't know what you think love is! They're young! However, what they are feeling right now, is the closest to love that they have ever felt. No, it probably isn't the love you feel for your husband. But, they don't know what that love is, because they've never been married before. They've only been thirteen-year-olds with their first partners. They've never had a fiancee or a long-term relationship. They've never lived with anybody. The only love they know is the platonic love for their relatives and friends, and the love in that first relationship. And that love is just as legitimate as yours is. Why? Because life is filled with stepping stones. Nobody goes from nothing to soul mates. They build, grow, and develop over time.
Just because you're older does not mean that you get to make them feel inadequate about what they're feeling. For the longest time, I was afraid to announce that I loved my partners. Why? Not because I wasn't sure of how I felt, I knew that I was feeling love, at least in its early stages. It was because I didn't want to be patronized. People think that, because they were born twenty years earlier that that gives them the right to tell young teenagers what they're feeling.
It doesn't. It just makes us self-conscious. Trust me. Stop telling kids that their feelings aren't real. Instead, teach them what love is supposed to feel like. Stop telling them that it's puppy love and won't last. Teach them how to be equal partners that contribute to healthy relationships.
This leads me into something else, about feelings not being legitimate.
I'm turning 16 soon. It worries me, because I feel that it's a monumental age. However, I can't voice my concerns to anybody. They laugh at me, and tell me that "16 isn't that big of a deal. Wait until you get to be my age."
I've never been your age. The oldest I've ever been is 15. From the time I was old enough to understand the concept of age until now, 16 has been HUGE. I still feel that way.
I know that, twenty years from now, 16 will just be a drop in the bucket. However, my bucket only has 15 drops in it! Each drop really counts, and 16 is a really big drop.
So stop. My feelings are the most legitimate I've ever felt. It's up to me, and only me to decide what is "real" and what is "not that big of a deal." Just because you've lived for a longer time doesn't mean that you know what I'm feeling.

Disney Princess Challenge Part TWO

So, yesterday, I did part one. Tonight, I am going to finish what I started.

11) I wish I had Snow White's voice. I just love the voices in vintage movies. I have no clue why, but I totally do. Voices today just don't have the same cadences.

12) The two princesses I think would be best friends are Aurora and Cinderella. They're both vintage and classic characters. They're so sweet and little girls look up to them so much.
13) I think Tiana and Ariel would detest each other. Tiana is so good at working hard for what she wants, and Ariel just gets it all handed to her. Tiana is selfless, and Ariel is selfish.
14) I think Mushu and Ol' Ray would get along so well. They're both sassy, funny, and outgoing.
15) Naveen and Beast have a lot in common, so I think they would mesh well. Both were selfish, but changed for their lady loves.
16) I cry in pretty much every Disney movie. I mean, The Lion King just leaves me bawling. However, this is the princess scene that makes me cry the most

17) I cry when I'm happy. So I guess that scene also makes me cheer. But I'm going with a new one, so as not to seem cheap.

18) I can't think of any scenes that make me cringe. So, here's another scene that makes me cry.

19) The Disney princesses all have pretty tragic stories. I guess I'm going to have to go with Belle, since hers is the least tragic.
20) I'm breaking the rules in this. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite princess movie, but The Lion King is totally my favorite movie. I can watch that movie all day, every day. And I often times do. I know every word in the first scene, and most of the rest of the movie.

Disney Princess Challenge

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Here we go. I'm going to skip all the apologizing for being a bad blogger because I always do that, and nothing ever changes. =) It's so nice to get past all the fluff.
1) The princess I adore most has got to be Belle. I just love the movie she is from. It's my second-favorite. And, you know what? I'm skipping all that "she's not very feminist" stuff. It's a movie, take it at face value. My second-favorite is definitely Cinderella. I don't know why, I just really, really, really like her.
2) The princess I like the least is Rapunzel. I don't know why. I feel like she's an intruder. The rest of the princesses have similar animation style, and Rapunzel just sticks out like a sore thumb. See?

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Plus, she just kind of gets on my nerves. She's almost too Disney-happy. I just, there is something about her that I do not like. And I'm not burning Tangled dolls or anything. I just neither own nor want to own that movie. However, it's not just Rapunzel I dislike. I'm not to happy with Jasmine or Ariel either. (Jasmine is very catty and Ariel is extremely self-centered.)

3) The princess I  relate to most is probably Ariel. I know I just said that she was selfish and rash, which she is. But she's also a bit of an outsider, and this isn't going to be a woe is me thing, I promise. I feel like an outsider, too a lot of the time. Especially at school. I mean, I have friends, but I never feel like we're on the same page. I don't know. It's one of those things that, if you know what I mean, you get it. If you don't know what I mean, you never will.

4) The side kick I wish I had is a toss up between Mushu (Mulan) and Meeko (Pocahontas). Mushu is so funny, and sassy, and I just love him. (I think Eddie Murphy is a really good comedian. I am also fond of Donkey.) But Meeko is so super cute, and reminds me of one of my cats. Probably Meeko though, since I could cuddle with him.

5) The best friends I want to hang out with are Yao, Ling, and Chien-Po. Honestly, Mulan just has the best companions.

6) The prince I wish loved me is actually a toss up. I love how cute and shy Aladdin is, but he's very shallow and makes a lot of mistakes. When I was little, I had a huge crush on John Smith, but he gets shot. That's probably not the best ending. I guess I'm going to have to go with the Beast on this one. Yeah, he had issues, but he changed for Belle. Plus, he has beautiful eyes. (Fun fact: Beast never got a name! There is one source that said that his name was Prince Adam, and that's kind of what stuck. However, Disney animators and those who worked on that movie say that they never named him. He's just Beast.)

7) The parents I wished raised me are going to have to be Eudora and James. They really worked hard to get Tiana everything she needed, and really encouraged her to believe in herself. Tiana is definitely one of my favorite princesses, but I'm biased by the Jazz music.

8) The castle I wish I lived in is a toss up. Cinderella's castle is gorgeous and iconic. Belle's castle is so beautiful with all the stained glass. However, I think I would get creeped out by the gargoyles on Belle's castle, so we're going with Cinderella.

9) The town I wish I lived in is Tiana's town. It's Jazz Age New Orleans. Who WOULDN'T want to live there? 

10) This is going to be the last one for now, since it's getting long. I shall complete it tomorrow though! I wish I owned all of their dresses, honestly. But, if we're going to have to pick, it's a toss up between Tiana's dress and Belle's dress. I'm going to have to go with Belle's right now, though, simply because I love their song.

That's all for now, folks! If you want to know more about who I was talking about, feel free to click any of the links. They will take you to pictures, videos, or the iMDB page of the movie. 

Memories

Tonight, I'm sitting on my bed, in my dress from the eighth grade dance, looking at old pictures. It really makes me think. These are moments in my life that were huge, and I can never get them back.
At the eighth grade dance, there are pictures of people mid-dance. It doesn't matter what song was playing, or what they were thinking, or what they had done earlier that day. Their boyfriends don't matter. It's a single form of free expression, captured in an instant. I've entirely forgotten what song was playing. I don't even know the playlist. But I do remember having the time of my life. I remember smiling and dancing with my friends. I remember all of their names.
And, in photos, things don't matter. The biggest things in my life at that point in time? They're silly now. I was heartbroken because of a selfish breakup, I was angry at one girl, and I felt like I was losing my friend. Guess what? That breakup doesn't matter. I'm in a new relationship. My ex? He's moved on, and has had a handful of other girlfriends. That girl I was angry at? She and I settled our differences, and barely talk. However, there's no animosity between us. The lost friend? She's gone, maybe for good.
My point is: Life goes on. Something that may be huge and encompassing one moment won't matter in a year. Don't sit and sulk about current or past moments. Trust me, I've done that. I wasted an entire year doing that. It didn't get me anywhere.
People will come and go. Most of them will leave, and most of them will leave memories and their stamps on your life. I've had over 400 people leave stamps and memories on mine. Do all of them matter? No. Not every memory is golden. Do I still talk to all of them? Most definitely not. I don't even talk to most of them. I certainly wouldn't change those memories for the world. I wish I could go back. However, I can't. I'm in high school now, and I'm going to make the best of it.